An Artist With Hallucinations And Visions

The first time I got started on my first painting, I felt scared and uncertain. I have never painted using acrylics on canvas. The only time I ever got to work on real art was when I was young in elementary school, high school and college. 

In 2017, God showed me a lot of beautiful visions. I saw Jehovah when my eyes were closed. He was in white and gold; the light surrounding him was shining on me. The visions I saw were so pretty, it was an unforgettable, wonderful, and meaningful sight. That truly led me to want to create art, but at that time, I never did.

My mental illness used to be severe. I would hear voices giving me instructions and telling/guiding me what to do. My mother would call the ambulance to pick me up and get me admitted into the hospital; I was hearing voices and I didn’t sleep. They were some hallucinations. Relatives tell me to ignore all of those visions; they didn’t understand that those visions inspire me to make works of art.

I don’t believe they were all hallucinations. I believe it was God manifesting himself to me and showing me a glimpse of his kingdom/heaven. 

Many of the world’s most famous artists suffered from mental illness and hallucinations, so it wasn’t an entirely bad thing to have it. Now that the days of hallucinations are over, I have strange dreams instead.

“Vincent van Gogh likely struggled with a range of mental illness, including depression, bipolar disorder, and hallucinations.” –  Ali Berman

I don’t view hallucinations as necessarily a negative thing. If it wasn’t for the mental illness, I wouldn’t be creating prophetic artwork. Many years of hallucinations led me to have ideas for my future paintings. I can name having at least six images I’ll be creating in the future.

“Edvard Munch credited his mental illness for inspiring many of his creative works, including his most famous painting, ‘The Scream.'” –  Ali Berman

“My fear of life is necessary to me, as is my illness. Without anxiety and illness, I am a ship without a rudder … my sufferings are part of my self and my art. They are indistinguishable from me, and their destruction would destroy my art.” – Edvard Munch

“Illness, insanity and death were the black angels that kept watch over my cradle and accompanied me all my life.” – Edvard Munch

What are your thoughts about hallucinations being an inspiration?